letting go.

There have been recent moments of pause in my day, moments of wondering, asking, seeking knowledge. The love given to me from my Creator surpasses all other love needed. In order for one to find love, one must go to the Source of love.

The last six months have been me gasping for breath and God keeping me from drowning in myself. Its so easy to be selfish, to forget your purpose and your redemption. I don't want a life of missed love. I want perfect love, whole heart overflowing love. how do i get this...?

God saved me. And just because people choose not to believe in Him doesn't change the reality of who He is. God is. "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--His eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that men are without excuse." Romans 1:20

Being a Christian doesn't mean you shove God down peoples throats or condemn them for their unbelief, it means shining the Light given to you, it means loving as God has loved you, knowing the Word and feeding it to people by how you live your life.

i need Jesus every. single. day. without Him, i fail.

Picasso once said, "good taste is the enemy of great art", which i think is very true. Good taste has all to do about being cultured and being refined. If art has to do with anything, it has to do with being human. Sometimes i find it hard to pray, you try to pray and try to impress God with all the right words, but I'm just not that sure if God is all that concerned with being entertained. I think that's a human thing. I just don't think its an easy thing to impress God Almighty. And I think we often forget that, you don't have to impress Him, because He's already knocked out about you. and if He was cultured, if He was as civilized as most christian people wish He was, He would be useless to Christianity... God is a wild Man. God takes the junk of our lives and He makes the greatest art in the world out of it...

"For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things." (romans 11:36)

"do not be afraid any longer, but go on speaking and do not be silent; for I am with you..." acts 18: 9-10

when the world is on fire, will you run for shelter or will you run into the flame to save the perishing? what will it take for the world to know Jesus...?

"...those who say that they live for Him must live the same way He lived." 1john 2:6

"those who are ignorant of the things of God do not know that these convictions that tend to put them in fear are for their good, so they seek to stifle them. they think that those fears are worked by the devil, and so they resist them as things they need to overthrow. they also think that these fears tend to spoil their faith and they harden their hearts against them." -john bunyan "the pilgrims progress"

let them fear You while the sun endures, and as long as the moon throughout all generations. may he come down like rain upon the mown grass, like showers that water the earth. in his day may the righteous flourish, and abundance of peace until the moon is no more. may He also rule from sea to sea and from river to the ends of the earth. psalm 73:5-8

the bitter comes before the sweet and makes the sweet even better...

oh how He loves us...

And we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking. And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss, And my heart turns violently inside of my chest, I don’t have time to maintain these regrets, When I think about, the way…

He loves us.

song by David Crowder Band

"And when all else fades, my soul will dance with You, where the love lasts forever."~HU

the story of my life...when it rains, it pours. circumstances don't always turnout like you wished they would. friends, family, society isn't always good to you. plain and simple...crap happens. there are things that face you that you're not in control of. and you can either stare it back in the face or turn around and walk away. which one is the right choice? is either? is what you're facing really issues you need to be dealing with? where is the battle ground? is it a war you're called to fight in...?

my response to rain isn't always to dance in the puddles. sometimes i cry about the clouds and cold. sometimes i open the windows and listen to the water drops on the ground...

there is a river that flows from God above. there is a fountain that's filled with His great love. come to this water, there is a vast supply. there is a river that never shall run dry.

it doesn't matter the battle we face. He already conquered it. He fought the battle and rescued the world. He knows exactly what we face and why we face it. He is able and willing to carry us, to comfort us. our responsibility is to get out of the boat. get out of your comfortable boat! take off the life saver floaty device and be willing to drown. because its in drowning that you lose yourself and gain the life of Christ. "it is no longer i who lives, but Christ who lives in me..." (galatians 2:20).

i haven't been married yet...but, being the great observer that i am, my analysis is quite...good.

Why get married?

marriage is an unselfish act, an act and choice to commit your life and future to spending it with a person. finding God in that person and loving them when you cant. the Bible uses marriage as an example and a parable of the union of Christ and His bride: the church. the people of God. the love He has for her, the love she has for Him. she sets herself pure and clean and holy before Him. surrendered to His love. a committal of whole heart and life and love. a burning love of fire for Christ alone. a never fading passion for the One and only Jesus-Redeemer. the One who rescued and redeemed her.

when i think of being married, i want to think of all the good things that married love brings, i want to imagine a husband that will love me in spite of my flaws and human-ness. a man that will see past the other pretty faces and pick me and only me. a feeling of finally of never feeling lonely and left out. looking at other couples and admiring their love.

its put within us to be joined in love with a husband or wife...

you'll never be "ready" for marriage if your heart isn't first filled with the life of God. Only He excepts you for who you completely are. He sees you. He wants you when you're feeling lonely or left out. He is your rescue boat when the ships going down. He's your blanket when you have no covering. He's your shade, your sweet resting haven, your never ending love story, the sunset that sings you to sleep, the sunrise that breaks through your dark. He has no end, His love doesn't fade, He's always the same. And you are His unfinished masterpiece...

i married Jesus when i was sixteen years old. I've found that that marriage is sometimes rocky because I'm rocky. but He isn't. He's the same. and He's my example. how He walked and lived and loved is how i will choose to walk, live and love.

Lord, let it be done unto me according to Your will, give me a man after Your heart who will love me with the love you've filled Him with. bless the man You've written for me. keep him only for me and i for him. show me how to bless his life and glorify You...

my heart will trust...

I'll walk closer now on the higher way
Through the darkest night will You hold my hand
Jesus guide my way

O You mourn with me and You dance with me
For my heart of hearts is bound to you

Though I walk through valleys low I'll fear no evil
By the waters still my soul, my heart will trust in You

My heart will trust in You

O You counsel me and You comfort me
When I cannot see You light my path

Though I walk through valleys low I'll fear no evil
By the waters still my soul, my heart will trust in You

My heart will trust in You...My heart will trust in You...

You can have me~Sidewalk Prophets

If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams
Would I love You enough to let go
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

If You’re all You claim to be
Then I’m not losing anything
So I will crawl upon my knees
Just to know the joy of suffering
I will love You enough to let go
Lord, I give you my life


I want to be where You are
I’m running into Your arms
And I will never look back
So Jesus, here is my heart