the push of a wonderful man

By nature I like to think of myself as an observant person. iI like to people watch, study the complex infrastructure known as "relationship", and attempt to understand the human heart...I was a little overwhelmed when I had to examine my own...

In the last year, I have been wrestling with myself. And along with that wrestling, there has been a person who has changed my life...I thought I understood men, (yes, go ahead and laugh) how they think, act, or why they think a certain way or act a certain way. It has been both frustrating and completely mind blowing at the same time to realize I didn't...not a clue! And there is a reason I didn't(I'll write about that later). But, God has used the difference of this man in my life to change it, never to be the same again. I have been both humbled and enamored, molded and redone. There have been times during this process that I have cried and been mad but mostly...challenged. Challenged to be different, be better, to look through different lenses, the lenses of Christ (the Word). For the first time I have been pushed to jump off my comfortable cliff and into the arms of a Savior who is the WHOLE meaning of life...And this person pushed me.

You see, I met this person, and through him, God has used to change my life. These last 12 months I have been pushed, stretched, humbled, and encouraged. Because even though before, I knew redemption though Jesus was THE only way and that in order to follow Him you have to also pick up your cross as He did, I still didn't have the experience of trial and difficulty in front (or behind) me. What I knew of the Lord and believe was definitely put to the test this past year. I encountered attack from the evil one, difficulty, financial struggle, emotional struggle, and stress. But, one thing I never lacked was an unwavering belief that I was not alone and that I was unconditionally loved. That the fire I was called to walk through, the 'valley of the shadow of death' that i crawled my way though, I was called for a purpose...I was called because the King had dealings with me...

This last year He has stripped me of pride,'comfortability' seeking desires, and insecurity in myself and He replaced it with true wholeness in Him, peace, and FULL dependence and reliance upon who He is...we really, truly are nothing without Him. Because He is everything... So, whether He calls me to live where I currently am now or to live on a clay floor or maybe even in a tent or for that matter in my car...without delay, I have to go because through the fire, through the teaching and molding (which isn't over I may add) He has carried me and taught me that its not about me. How can we (His people) give less to Him then our heart and life when He blesses us with so much.

So, with that, I add that God puts people in our lives for a reason. And though not always easy, there is purpose in His plan...and I don't believe for one minute that all I have walked through this last year was not planned...God blessed me with a steady, only deepening, enriching love that I am SO thankful for...he (you know who you are) has been the stable grip that has kept me holding my head up in the joy of the Lord. And let me say that I (we) have found the beauty and necessity of walking together in Christ...and that the Love of God will calm any storm you face as long as your heart is firm in love. Thanks for the push.