i will praise You...

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away


I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

" The LORD’S loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness" Lamentations 3:22-23

If I didn't believe this promise, there wouldn't be a whole lot to look forward to every day I woke up. Not because my life isn't blessed, because it is. But, because of the loving kindness of the Lord and His wonderful mercy, I can stand in freedom every day. I don't have to wake up in dread, but I can wake up in faith, believing that the One True God is in control over this new day and His mercy is indeed new and He is ever faithful to bring me through whatever I will face...

"...I am the Way..." John 14:6

Many people are hurting so badly, and they are crying out for help. The problem is, they are not willing to receive the help they need from God. The truth is, no matter how much we may want or need help, we are never going to receive it until we are willing to do things God's way. Its amazing how many times we want help, but we want God to do it our way. God wants us to do it His way. In John 14:6, Jesus said, "I am the Way." What Jesus meant when He said, "I am the Way," is that He has a certain way of doing things, and if we will submit to His way, everything will work out for us. But so often we wrestle and struggle with Him, trying to get Him to do things our way. It just won't work.

The point is that too often people are trying to find some other way to get help rather than by doing things God's way. The Bible plainly teaches that if we will learn and act on the Word, God will bless our lives. For example, the Bible teaches that we are to live in harmony and peace with others and to forgive those who have done us wrong. If we refuse to do that, what hope do we have of receiving what we need? If we don't do what we can do, then God won't do what we can't do. If we will do what we can do, God will do what we can't do.

"For whatever was written was given to us for our learning, that through patience and comfort of the scriptures we might have hope." (Romans 15:4)

I need Jesus every, single day. Without Him, I fail...

Jesus said "Blessed are the meek, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" Matthew 5:3 the meaning for meek is 'spiritually humble'. A promise of the Lord is that He gives grace to the humble...(1 Peter 5:5)

This has been so heavy on my heart in the last few years and recently I know without a shadow of a doubt the will of God for my life...to reach out to people who are broken hearted and desperately need the touch of the Lord...I am one of those people. So are you. We all need a touch from Jesus. The thing is, we have to let Him.

Peace

the push of a wonderful man

By nature I like to think of myself as an observant person. iI like to people watch, study the complex infrastructure known as "relationship", and attempt to understand the human heart...I was a little overwhelmed when I had to examine my own...

In the last year, I have been wrestling with myself. And along with that wrestling, there has been a person who has changed my life...I thought I understood men, (yes, go ahead and laugh) how they think, act, or why they think a certain way or act a certain way. It has been both frustrating and completely mind blowing at the same time to realize I didn't...not a clue! And there is a reason I didn't(I'll write about that later). But, God has used the difference of this man in my life to change it, never to be the same again. I have been both humbled and enamored, molded and redone. There have been times during this process that I have cried and been mad but mostly...challenged. Challenged to be different, be better, to look through different lenses, the lenses of Christ (the Word). For the first time I have been pushed to jump off my comfortable cliff and into the arms of a Savior who is the WHOLE meaning of life...And this person pushed me.

You see, I met this person, and through him, God has used to change my life. These last 12 months I have been pushed, stretched, humbled, and encouraged. Because even though before, I knew redemption though Jesus was THE only way and that in order to follow Him you have to also pick up your cross as He did, I still didn't have the experience of trial and difficulty in front (or behind) me. What I knew of the Lord and believe was definitely put to the test this past year. I encountered attack from the evil one, difficulty, financial struggle, emotional struggle, and stress. But, one thing I never lacked was an unwavering belief that I was not alone and that I was unconditionally loved. That the fire I was called to walk through, the 'valley of the shadow of death' that i crawled my way though, I was called for a purpose...I was called because the King had dealings with me...

This last year He has stripped me of pride,'comfortability' seeking desires, and insecurity in myself and He replaced it with true wholeness in Him, peace, and FULL dependence and reliance upon who He is...we really, truly are nothing without Him. Because He is everything... So, whether He calls me to live where I currently am now or to live on a clay floor or maybe even in a tent or for that matter in my car...without delay, I have to go because through the fire, through the teaching and molding (which isn't over I may add) He has carried me and taught me that its not about me. How can we (His people) give less to Him then our heart and life when He blesses us with so much.

So, with that, I add that God puts people in our lives for a reason. And though not always easy, there is purpose in His plan...and I don't believe for one minute that all I have walked through this last year was not planned...God blessed me with a steady, only deepening, enriching love that I am SO thankful for...he (you know who you are) has been the stable grip that has kept me holding my head up in the joy of the Lord. And let me say that I (we) have found the beauty and necessity of walking together in Christ...and that the Love of God will calm any storm you face as long as your heart is firm in love. Thanks for the push.

love never fails...

I Corinthians 13:5 It(love) is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love keeps no record of wrongs for love is too busy healing and mending. Wrongs are not important to love because love is always consumed with making things right as time moves forward. In love, there is no time for keeping records of past mistakes. Love has no memory of wrongs for love is making plans and building for the future. Love is too creative to be concerned with what happened yesterday. Love focuses on the expression of progress in the name and image of God. A record of wrongs stops love so love is not concerned about the past. Love is always full of hope, grandeur, and glory as it forever moves into the future while overfilling the present...

when i read this little bit of scripture, i was overwhelmed with the thought that, love (remember, God is Love) doesn't dwell on what was, love is fixated on what will be. Love never fails...and if we don't have love, if we are unable or unwilling to forgive and let go and be unselfish then we cannot say we're with God. Because if you do not have love, you have nothing.

The devil is so good at keeping us from letting the past go. His favorite trick to play on us is bitterness and un-forgiveness...to keep you tied down to what was and keep you in the pit of what you think you'll never get to or what you can let go of. But! We serve a God of new beginnings. a God of new creation in Him and a God of redemption. God wants us to press forward. Remember that when we are forgiven our sin's are as far as the east is from the west?? (psalm 103:12)

letting go.

There have been recent moments of pause in my day, moments of wondering, asking, seeking knowledge. The love given to me from my Creator surpasses all other love needed. In order for one to find love, one must go to the Source of love.

The last six months have been me gasping for breath and God keeping me from drowning in myself. Its so easy to be selfish, to forget your purpose and your redemption. I don't want a life of missed love. I want perfect love, whole heart overflowing love. how do i get this...?

God saved me. And just because people choose not to believe in Him doesn't change the reality of who He is. God is. "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--His eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that men are without excuse." Romans 1:20

Being a Christian doesn't mean you shove God down peoples throats or condemn them for their unbelief, it means shining the Light given to you, it means loving as God has loved you, knowing the Word and feeding it to people by how you live your life.

i need Jesus every. single. day. without Him, i fail.

Picasso once said, "good taste is the enemy of great art", which i think is very true. Good taste has all to do about being cultured and being refined. If art has to do with anything, it has to do with being human. Sometimes i find it hard to pray, you try to pray and try to impress God with all the right words, but I'm just not that sure if God is all that concerned with being entertained. I think that's a human thing. I just don't think its an easy thing to impress God Almighty. And I think we often forget that, you don't have to impress Him, because He's already knocked out about you. and if He was cultured, if He was as civilized as most christian people wish He was, He would be useless to Christianity... God is a wild Man. God takes the junk of our lives and He makes the greatest art in the world out of it...

"For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things." (romans 11:36)

"do not be afraid any longer, but go on speaking and do not be silent; for I am with you..." acts 18: 9-10

when the world is on fire, will you run for shelter or will you run into the flame to save the perishing? what will it take for the world to know Jesus...?

"...those who say that they live for Him must live the same way He lived." 1john 2:6

"those who are ignorant of the things of God do not know that these convictions that tend to put them in fear are for their good, so they seek to stifle them. they think that those fears are worked by the devil, and so they resist them as things they need to overthrow. they also think that these fears tend to spoil their faith and they harden their hearts against them." -john bunyan "the pilgrims progress"

let them fear You while the sun endures, and as long as the moon throughout all generations. may he come down like rain upon the mown grass, like showers that water the earth. in his day may the righteous flourish, and abundance of peace until the moon is no more. may He also rule from sea to sea and from river to the ends of the earth. psalm 73:5-8

the bitter comes before the sweet and makes the sweet even better...

oh how He loves us...

And we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking. And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss, And my heart turns violently inside of my chest, I don’t have time to maintain these regrets, When I think about, the way…

He loves us.

song by David Crowder Band

"And when all else fades, my soul will dance with You, where the love lasts forever."~HU

the story of my life...when it rains, it pours. circumstances don't always turnout like you wished they would. friends, family, society isn't always good to you. plain and simple...crap happens. there are things that face you that you're not in control of. and you can either stare it back in the face or turn around and walk away. which one is the right choice? is either? is what you're facing really issues you need to be dealing with? where is the battle ground? is it a war you're called to fight in...?

my response to rain isn't always to dance in the puddles. sometimes i cry about the clouds and cold. sometimes i open the windows and listen to the water drops on the ground...

there is a river that flows from God above. there is a fountain that's filled with His great love. come to this water, there is a vast supply. there is a river that never shall run dry.

it doesn't matter the battle we face. He already conquered it. He fought the battle and rescued the world. He knows exactly what we face and why we face it. He is able and willing to carry us, to comfort us. our responsibility is to get out of the boat. get out of your comfortable boat! take off the life saver floaty device and be willing to drown. because its in drowning that you lose yourself and gain the life of Christ. "it is no longer i who lives, but Christ who lives in me..." (galatians 2:20).

i haven't been married yet...but, being the great observer that i am, my analysis is quite...good.

Why get married?

marriage is an unselfish act, an act and choice to commit your life and future to spending it with a person. finding God in that person and loving them when you cant. the Bible uses marriage as an example and a parable of the union of Christ and His bride: the church. the people of God. the love He has for her, the love she has for Him. she sets herself pure and clean and holy before Him. surrendered to His love. a committal of whole heart and life and love. a burning love of fire for Christ alone. a never fading passion for the One and only Jesus-Redeemer. the One who rescued and redeemed her.

when i think of being married, i want to think of all the good things that married love brings, i want to imagine a husband that will love me in spite of my flaws and human-ness. a man that will see past the other pretty faces and pick me and only me. a feeling of finally of never feeling lonely and left out. looking at other couples and admiring their love.

its put within us to be joined in love with a husband or wife...

you'll never be "ready" for marriage if your heart isn't first filled with the life of God. Only He excepts you for who you completely are. He sees you. He wants you when you're feeling lonely or left out. He is your rescue boat when the ships going down. He's your blanket when you have no covering. He's your shade, your sweet resting haven, your never ending love story, the sunset that sings you to sleep, the sunrise that breaks through your dark. He has no end, His love doesn't fade, He's always the same. And you are His unfinished masterpiece...

i married Jesus when i was sixteen years old. I've found that that marriage is sometimes rocky because I'm rocky. but He isn't. He's the same. and He's my example. how He walked and lived and loved is how i will choose to walk, live and love.

Lord, let it be done unto me according to Your will, give me a man after Your heart who will love me with the love you've filled Him with. bless the man You've written for me. keep him only for me and i for him. show me how to bless his life and glorify You...

my heart will trust...

I'll walk closer now on the higher way
Through the darkest night will You hold my hand
Jesus guide my way

O You mourn with me and You dance with me
For my heart of hearts is bound to you

Though I walk through valleys low I'll fear no evil
By the waters still my soul, my heart will trust in You

My heart will trust in You

O You counsel me and You comfort me
When I cannot see You light my path

Though I walk through valleys low I'll fear no evil
By the waters still my soul, my heart will trust in You

My heart will trust in You...My heart will trust in You...

You can have me~Sidewalk Prophets

If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams
Would I love You enough to let go
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

If You’re all You claim to be
Then I’m not losing anything
So I will crawl upon my knees
Just to know the joy of suffering
I will love You enough to let go
Lord, I give you my life


I want to be where You are
I’m running into Your arms
And I will never look back
So Jesus, here is my heart

Search me O God
Search me and find
Any way in me that does not reflect Your purity
Refine me O God
In the fire of Your gaze
That I might be holy in all of my ways
Take me deeper Lord
Draw me closer Lord…

Give me a heart after Your own heart
Give me a mind that is pure and pleasing to You
Fill me with love
With Your power and Your joy
That this world might see You in me

"...that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life..." Philipians 2:14-16

i have been asking God this week to give me the heart of a bondservant. someone who willingly chooses to stay in her Master's court and serve. i asked the Father to use me in the ministry and outreach. He has been bringing opportunities to share His gospel with people lately. which means i need to be in His Word and prayer...learning in order to teach...

"if i were still trying to please men, i would not be a bondservant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

Is redemption and salvation in vain if we continue to commit the very same acts we were forgiven for? The Word says that we are to crucify the flesh. "Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit."(galatians 5:24-25) Because we are now under grace, do we have the freedom to live without the law of God? I believe Jesus is looking to find His bride pure. A bride who has kept herself pure, saving herself only for her husband. I believe God is looking for holiness among this generation.

We live in a time of desperation among this generation. as the people of God, we need to be seeking God. Running after Him in passionate pursuit. God has put the call on peoples life, and we can either answer that call or rebel. Because, why are we here? What is life on earth? Its so easy to get caught up in the excitement of what the world exposes to us. we are sheep among wolves. but, we are to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.(Matthew 10:16)

i cant say i'm without sin. i fail Him, but my heart knows Him and is deeply in love with His heart. He is my constant. He is divine life. He is all love i have ever known. Nothing I have He has not given to me. i truly am nothing without Him. my desire is for people to experience God and be changed by the renewing of the mind(do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.) Romans 12:2

my prayer and desire is for people to have a revelation of who Jesus is, to be empowered by His Spirit and be conformed to the image of Christ. We are a redeemed people. God is calling all men to repent and submit to the call of Christ. There is no greater freedom and peace than walking and knowing Christ. "...so that you may discover the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." Philipians 9-10

Lord, lead me into the wilderness to hear Your voice and be renewed by Your Spirit...Lord, I ask that You capture people. Please send out Your light and Your truth to pierce peoples hearts. You are Sovereign and Your Kingdom come and Your will be done...

if i ever get to walk down the aisle one day, i think i found the song...

Ancient Words


(Michael W. Smith)


Holy words long preserved
for our walk in this world,
They resound with God's own heart.
Oh let the ancient words impart


Words of Life, words of Hope
Give us strength, help us cope
In this world, where e'er we roam
Ancient words will guide us Home.

CHORUS:
Ancient words ever true
Changing me and changing you,
We have come with open hearts
Oh let the ancient words impart

Holy words of our Faith
Handed down to this age
Came to us through sacrifice
Oh heed the faithful words of Christ.

Holy words long preserved
For our walk in this world.
They resound with God's own heart
Oh let the ancient words impart.

wash us

Peter said to Him, "Never shall You wash my feet!" Jesus answered him, " If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me." john 13:8

Jesus, help us to be Your hands and feet. that we would love people and see them as You see them. that we would break the comfortable mold we're in and dive into the water to save those who are drowning. You came to seek and save the lost and You are raising up Your sheep to do the same. i want to be holy. i want to treasure and desire You above all else. o God let us be a generation who seeks Your face and lays aside all the entanglements of sin and fall on our knees before You. Father, let Your kingdom come upon this land. set hearts on fire, consume all that is not of You and make Your home in our hearts. come and wash us Lord Jesus, that we would reflect You in how we live...

Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? Matthew 16:24-25

Believing God

"walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which we have been called" (eph 4:1)
Since the beginning of the word, Christianity has been referred to as a walk. a journey and a race to run. Walking requires us to put one foot in front of the other and progress forward. But with some Christian's, we have trouble putting that foot forward. i think that more times than not, this happens when our focus is on our self and our circumstances rather than the condition of our heart. an undivided heart is essential to a steady walk with God.

i was reading romans 10 the other night before bed, and i had to read it three times in order to begin to understand the message that was being addressed. "The Word of Faith Brings Salvation" is the title that my bible gives this chapter. if faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (hebrews 11:1), then Christianity is believing in God. believing that even though you can't see Him, you experience His presence. we use the scripture "Faith without works is dead" (james 2:20) a lot. This is truth. But when you really think about it, faith is everything. faith is so much of Christianity; believing and loving someone you can't see with your physical eyes. i may not be able to see him with the human eye, but my heart does. my heart knows Him well. i see Jesus in others, i see God is creation, in miracles, in babies. when i see people who choose to do the right thing, i see that God has His hand in life. i think faith is more difficult to have than anything else. the flesh is strong, it can keep us from overcoming obstacles in our path, it can pull our desires away from what we should be fixed on. "...but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it."(1 Corinthians 10:13). God wants us to win. He wants us to be happy and fulfilled and joyful. He wants every good thing for us. And He knows what will make us happy and fulfilled and joyful. He has promised to not hold any good thing from us as long as we make Him first in our life.(psalm 84:11)

So, i think God is beginning to renew my thinking a little bit. Believing that God is. period.

i will not be weighed down by the world. i will choose to be the hands and feet of Christ. I believe God has a plan and that plan is Jesus. that plan is redemption. that plan is perfect peace in Him. We need to seek that plan, grope for it, hunger after it. even be willing to die for it...

i want to see people come to believe in a perfect God with a perfect heart who has a perfect love to give them. because without Him, we really are empty and dead.

fixing my eyes

"...and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace..."

a recent ending of a relationship has opened my eyes to see Jesus as the Lamp to my feet and a Light to my path. Finding peace in being in His will is far more precious than any treasure earth has...

It's so easy to make plans for your own life. To day dream about what the future holds. speaking for myself, i can get caught up in what waits for me tomorrow instead of giving today my full attention.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD,the Maker of heaven and earth."~ps 121:1-2

why do i get restless? why am i not satisfied with my current circumstances? i don't want to have an untamed heart. i want the heart of a servant. a person who is surrendered to the will of her Maker. it is not i who live but Christ who lives in me, right? i am in constant molding. i need Jesus every single day. i fail without Him...

contentment

godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment~1Timothy 6:6.

One of the great temptations the enemy can use against us is discontentment. As Christians called to live humbly, picking up our cross daily, we all struggle with wanting and not having. We're not perfect, we're kidding ourselves if we live in a state of outward perfection. And because we live in a fallen place, we are dependent upon God to redeem us. The Word of God says that "Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other Name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."Acts 4:12. Its in the name of Jesus that we're saved. We come to Him, surrender our life, lay down our rights and pick up our cross and follow Him. And the life that we once lived in sin and death dies and we pick up His life; freedom, love, rest etc...And He begins to change us and mold us into the person He's destined us to be.

Contentment can never dwell with anger. Is anger in itself an evil thing? No, it's anger occurring in people who are sinners, which easily and quickly becomes evil. The Bible says, "Be angry, and yet do not sin" (Eph. 4:26).

So, Lord Jesus, teach me to be content with where You have me and what You've given me. What do I have that You have not allowed me to? You give and You take away. Help me to surrender my desires to You and in Your perfect time and will, You'll add to my life as You will it. You are Perfect Sovereign. My Papa, I am safe within Your courts, amongst Your people. Let my heart be in obedience to You. As Mary replied to the Angel, "I am the Lord's servant, be it done to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38).

Learning contentment:

Number 1: It cannot dwell with anger.
Number 2: It cannot dwell with self-pity.

Anger and self-pity are from the devil. So if you want to learn contentment you are going to have to quit getting angry and quit feeling sorry for yourself.

just one song...

All of my musician life I've wanted to write a song. I listen to artist's like Brooke Fraser, Hillsong, Bethany Dillon, Vicky Beeching and I wonder if it's really that difficult to write a song. I have tunes and melodies in my head and prayers on my heart...but I sit down and neither of the two collide. I have prayed the scripture in Psalm 40 that says "He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God...". I taught myself to play both the piano and the guitar and have been singing "Jesus Loves Me" since I was 18 months old. I can only come to the conclusion that when He has a song for me to write, it will be all glory unto Him, not something that will glorify my gifts or talents.

"Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go -
And at the end of this long passage,
Let me leave them at Your throne."~Keith Getty "Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer"

Love Spung

I am not God and I'm not an expert on the human mind. But, I understand the feeling of wanting to be loved and excepted. When you come to a new place searching for friendship and friendly attention, you come hoping that there will be someone there who will not pass you by when they see you standing in a corner by yourself or sitting all alone. A person without friends is friendless for a reason...it's our job (as the church) to find out this reason. We're called to love the lonely and friendless.

Being a leader at a jr. high youth group, I see kids who have more than enough friends and attention, they're loud and outgoing and everyone wants to be around them. Then there are kids who are not so outgoing and possibly even a little "socially awkward", which makes for making friends pretty difficult sometimes. Why are we so caught up in our own little clicks and groups that we by pass people who are just looking for some acknowledgment of their presence? We need to step outside our comfort zone and love people. Really love them. Maybe this world would be a lot different if people saw the heart of God coming through us...